Matt $ - May 10, 2008 - 1:41 am
Well sorry guys I have been pressured to post this for quite some time and have been trying to get it flawless, just the way Randy Mach’ himself would expect it. I’ve had a lot of work (who would have thought that coming from a History major!) but I’m proud to present the Second Annual Bonesaw awards for the 2007-2008 hockey season. Wow what a great season this was! Winning the regular season ECAC title outright was quite an accomplishment, but then topping it off with a win over St. Cloud State and then outplaying Michigan for most of the game. We played great and were right there with one of the best teams in the country, I could not be more proud of the team. Of course we all know that the reason why they were so successful is because, well they harnessed the Bonesaw and many mastered it. It was a great season and I just want to thank all of the players for giving me something to cheer about and scream and be passionate about. Thanks Knights, I really enjoyed my time at Clarkson and following the team. And on to the awards!
Best Froshmanz Award – Scott “The” Freeman #9, 5G – 11A
This goes to the freshmen who stood out the most in our mind and we felt made the greatest impact from the incoming class. The Freeman always seemed to be making plays on the ice and dishing out hard hits. He certainly honored the #9 well and even managed to put up more points in his freshman year than the person who wore the #9 before him did in his freshmen year (Weller for all those who aren’t cool enough to remember). We look forward to the years coming with The One Freeman and hopes he continues to blossom into a star. Don’t forget to reload Dr. Freeman!
Best Macho Man Impression – Phil Paquet #2, Pen 25 – Min 53
Phil is a two time winner of this award which goes to man who leads the team in PIM. Although he drastically cut his penalties from last year, he still laid the hurt down when elbowing people into the boards. In fact you could even say the Macho Man taught him how to refine that killer elbow so he would not always get called for it. But Phil has always been an anchor on our defense and been one of our best hitters. He is a great defenseman who causes havoc on t he ice, reminiscent of an elbow from the top rope from Randy Savage!
The “He’s SO Fast” Award! – David Cayer #19, 10G – 12 A
Mr. Cayer tied with Kolu last year for this award in what was one of the most highly argued awards of all time, this year without Kolu to race, Cayer cruised to this award. He has always been a play-maker and one of our best finishers around the net, and by using his top notch speed he tends to savage on weak opponents, sort of like a French Velociraptor. This to a great career and being one of our best players and always was a great contributor. We thank you for a great career and wish you the best of luck.
The “Where’s Bud Fisher” Award? – Bud Fisher QU Bearcat or some dumb crap like that.
Bud Fisher, this is almost toooooo easy. He is a professional Sieve that has a semi-hot girlfriend. In what was one of his best performances of the year he allowed 4 goals in the first period against the Bonesawing Knights , and yet… Beth still allows more Knights to score than Bud! After allowing these 4 goals he did not return only to allow the safety sieve to be at the mercy of a bunch of marauding Knights. In fact he did not even leave the locker room raising the question, where’s Bud Fisher? This baffled the Clarkson students for weeks to come, leading to chants of “WHERE’S BUD FISHER! *clap clap clap-clap-clap* (something like that)” over the course of many weeks. In fact, I could see the student section still looking for him next year. Let’s just hope we find him, who else would give us 4 goals in the first period in hopes we stopped picking on his girlfriend. Thanks Bud, you were my favorite goalie to heckle. – CH3
Hero of Cheel Award – “nice guy” Eddie “the admin” (Best Aramark employee, ever)
Now that I live in the townhouses I do not go to Cheel much anymore, but let me make this clear… he is the best Aramark employee of all time. In fact the reason I do not go there anymore is because I heard a rumor that they ruined the Grill Works trying to neutralize Eddie’s power and popularity. Well we still know that he is the man and the only Aramark employee to harness the power of the Bonesaw for use wherever they may station him. Thank you.
Offender of the Saws Award – Steve “Zeus” Zalewski #15 – 21G – 12 A
Zeus was dominant this year, plain and simple. It is obvious that he used the power of the Bonesaw to dominate and managed to Bonesaw 21 goals past opposing sieves. He always seemed to be a threat to score whenever he was on the ice and we thank him for his amazing play the past 4 years, it was a pleasure to watch you. We wish you the best of luck on the pros and hope you continue to be the dominant goal scorer you were for us.
Defender of the Saws Award – David Leggio #33 - .920 Save %, 2.2 GAA
Leggio has been a delight to watch this season (for his great play and physical beauty). He played in 38 of 39 games and made some HUGE saves down the stretch. He kept us in just about every game and you never felt worried if he was between the creases. Leggio even managed to ignite the crowd on senior knight by raising the legendary Bonesaw for us. I’ve never seen such a glorious sight and we thank him for his service in Savages Army and wish him the absolute best of luck. Thanks Mr. Leggio, you were a stud.
The Savage Award – Matt Beca #8, 10G – 24A
Matt followed up his outstanding freshman season by leading the team in points! He followed receiving the “Froshmanz Award” by upgrading to the Savage Award, which goes to the player who simply just savages like Macho Man reincarnate (on ice!). Matt was always dishing the puck setting up everyone else with his unselfish play with a barrage of dimes. 2 dollars and 40 cents in dimes, not a bad year. We are excited to see how #8 continues to develop into what we envision as the front runner for the “Golden Saw” next year. No pressure or anything, but great season Matt. Matt go buy yourself a Powerade or Gatorade (whichever sponsors us) with your $2.40, you deserve it.
The “Matt $” Award – Shea Guthrie #91, 9g – 13A
This award is named after the legendary Matt $ (what a stud he is), given to the player who played well all year and established himself as one of the best all-around players in the league. He could skate, shoot, score, TECH!, oh wait… I mean, he was able to score, give out assists, and lay the hurt on many opposing players. He is also poised for a tremendous season next year, and we hope his game continues to progress. Shea is an extremely talented player who could be primed to pilot this team to another ECAC Championship.
Commander of the Bonesaw – Nick Dodge #32, 12G – 14A
I really don’t have the words to describe how amazing Nick Dodge is as a player, leader, and as a Knight. He was the unquestioned leader of our hockey team and had one of the best well-rounded games in the country. He was one of the best players in the country who had a knack for making the big play whenever we needed it. He always provided a spark just at the right moments and was a joy to watch. Dodge was the recipient of the Golden Saw last year and he certainly made a strong push for it this year in what was a hard decision for us to make. We wish Dodge the best of luck with Carolina, and are certain that he will thrive there due to the numerous skills he showed while at Clarkson. Thanks Captain for everything, you led this team to amazing heights and we will cherish those memories.
Before I get to the Golden Saw I just have some personal thoughts I want to share with everyone. I just want to express my gratitude to Jeremy, Kyle, and Tyler. Tyler took countless hours taking pictures at games and then putting them on the site and making sure only the best ones made it. He got some magnificent shots that look better than most sports shots I’ve seen by professionals. Tyler also hosts this site and has been a great help in making Bonesaw what it is. Kyle is a true Savage Elitist Bonesawing Internet Guru. He has the internet dashing through his veins and has done a phenomenal job helping run the site and making sure the layout and links all work. Not to mention his wonderful work on Bonesaw the Videogame, a must play for any Clarkson hockey fan (or fan of video games). Kyle and his dedication to the Bonesaw (he made the designs for the shirts too!) contributed to the beautiful thing that Bonesaw saw. And finally I would like to honor Jomee for all of his dedication to Bonesaw. He has used his abilities as a RA/RD to corrupt the minds of countless froshmanz and youngins to truly believe in the Bonesaw. He spent numerous hours creating saws and helping spread the word of the Bonesaw (including his legendary hunger strike last summer at Coach Rolls house forcing him to finally do a Bonesaw!). Jomee’s dedication truly helped push the Bonesaw to what it is today and I’m grateful for all that he has done. He always seemed to be around doing whatever it took to help the Bonesaw cause and never got enough thanks, but thank you Jeremy. (Also Jomee is a stupid masshole)
The Golden Saw Award – Grant Clitsome #14, 5G – 17A
This is probably our most prestigious award and I am honored to present it to Grant Clitsome. To say he was an anchor on our defense is quite the understatement. Whenever he was on the ice I always felt confident something good was going to happen and it usually did with his outstanding plus/minus rating. He was a 2nd team All-American and looks to continue on which looks to be a promising pro career. Grant was a superb hockey player and one of our true leaders in every aspect of the game. I proudly present Grant with this award and wish him nothing but the best. He was one of the best players on the ice whenever he skated onto it and deserves this award; he truly mastered the art of Bonesaw (read: hockey). Congratulations Grant you earned this!
Please remember that these are just some silly opinions meant to offend no one (except Bud Fisher) and are just for laughs and to show some gratitude. If you have any serious complaints you can take it up with our enforcer Jon Hines. Thanks and I hope you enjoyed them. Well that wraps up my career as a sports writer. I was honored to write on this site and be a part of something as truly special as the Bonesaw Brigade. We wish the team, fans, and everyone else the best of luck and remember what we taught you… EVERYTHING can be settled with a Bonesaw (If you try this we take no legal responsibility). Thanks everyone for making my time at Clarkson fun and crazy. Everyone have a nice summer and best of luck with your future endeavors. May the Bonesaw be with you, forever and always! BONESAW!!